Tweens – The Family Duels

Lockdown lethargy has peaked –
Lisa: Go and brush your teeth.
Isla: What? All of them?

Lisa: I want cake.
Isla: I could make one and call it Food Tech?

She’ll go far, that kid.

Isla: Daddy, can I use your credit card to get this book on my Kindle? I’m on the ‘Buy now or else’ bit.
John: It doesn’t say ‘or else’.
Isla: It does to me.

Eva’s going to a new school for 6th form so Isla gave her some advice –
Isla: Go for the smiling people, they’re the ones who want to make friends.
Eva: What else?
Isla: Be the smiling people.

We’re at the –
Kids: Can we cut our own hair?
Lisa: Yeah, why not?
Stage of lockdown.

Lisa: Please clear your stuff out of the conservatory. I can’t even get through the door.
Isla: Do what I do, just treat it like a fun little obstacle course.

Isla: Bullying is different at Grammar School. At my old school people picked on you for having the wrong trainers. Today a boy sneered at me for not knowing all my Roman Numerals.

Me: Do you like my photo of a fluffy dandelion?
Isla: Yes. What did you wish for?
Me: I think we’re all wishing for the same thing at the moment.
Isla: You want a pet unicorn too?

Me: (Watching Isla’s shocking table manners) Why can’t you eat like a civilised human?
Isla: Because you said I should never pretend to be someone I’m not.