Lisa: Get on with tidying your bedroom. At this rate it will take you days!
Eva: And that’s a problem because…?
She makes a good point.
Tag: Parenting
Lisa: The microwave’s blown up.
Eva: I’ll have to warm soup in a pan, like it’s the olden days! That’s sweet.
Lisa: And wash up afterwards.
Eva: Urgh. I’m not a fan of retro living anymore.
Lisa: Please clear your stuff out of the conservatory. I can’t even get through the door.
Isla: Do what I do, just treat it like a fun little obstacle course.
Lisa: Is all your washing in the basket?
Eva: (Snorts) Washing?
She’s gone feral.
We’re learning a lot about each other in lockdown-
Me: Argh, I’ve burnt my toast.
Isla: Feed it to Daddy. There’s nothing that man won’t eat.
Me: (Watching Isla’s shocking table manners) Why can’t you eat like a civilised human?
Isla: Because you said I should never pretend to be someone I’m not.
Nothing dramatic about anyone in this house
Me: Why were you late to school this morning?
Eva: I don’t know what happened. My alarm went off, then I must’ve blacked out.
Me: I think the phrase is, ‘went back to sleep’.
I’ve started a family WhatsApp group. John’s already muted us..
We had a lovely time drawing self portraits last night and John admired the girls’ work this morning.
Me: What do you think of mine?
John: It’s really good. It captures your essence.
Me: Really? Isla said I’d made myself look old and grumpy.
John: That’s what I just said.
The Family Duels 